Quotes
Q: Have you received Jesus as your lord and saviour?
A: No. Though, once I did receive Jesus for a fondue dig, but had to refuse him because of the toga.
A: No. Though, once I did receive Jesus for a fondue dig, but had to refuse him because of the toga.
I like topless models. Cars, I mean.
A trilogy about George W. Bush:
A Bucketfull Of Oil
The Good. The Bad. George Bush.
The Man With No Plan
And one for Cheney:
For A Few Dollars More
A Bucketfull Of Oil
The Good. The Bad. George Bush.
The Man With No Plan
And one for Cheney:
For A Few Dollars More
Majority is catostrophy
I learn from my mistakes. I like learning a lot. Ergo, I like making a lot of mistakes.
I am closet exhibitionist.
I believe in wife beating. But whips and handcuffs must be involved.
Tattoo Idea: I love (your) mom.
He's metrosexual.
What? He's sexually attracted to the metro?
What? He's had sex on the metro?
What? He's sexually attracted to the metro?
What? He's had sex on the metro?
Father, I cannot tell a lie.
Son, if at first you don't suceed, try again.
Son, if at first you don't suceed, try again.
How to live your life:
Write your eulogy. Work backwards from there.
Write your eulogy. Work backwards from there.
Finally - 1000 monkeys with typewriters produced a legible result.
The Desperate Housewives Screenplay.
The Desperate Housewives Screenplay.
He is a man who is not afraid of anything. Not even his own stupidity.
No one wants to be a grown-up when they grow up.
I only compete with myself. I have low standards.
It's better to have love and lost than to be lost yourself.
The end is queer.
Fight global warming - turn up the air-conditioning.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A raw onion a day keeps everyone away.
I'd like to be respected. If that's too much ask for, I'll settle for being feared.
Criminal Lawyer - The first word is an adjective.
Time wounds all heals.
I don't belive in casual sex. I must get a formal engraved invitation to the event.
Umm...is that the reason I don't get any?
Umm...is that the reason I don't get any?
I came. I saw. I got confused.
I came. I saw. I asked for a refund.
I came. I saw. I went back.
I am a sit down comic.
In life, many situations arise where you have to heed to other's demands.
Listen to people carefully and always reach a compromise with everyone. Except yourself.
Listen to people carefully and always reach a compromise with everyone. Except yourself.
Some people have answers for everything and solutions for nothing.
I like fast women. Chiefly because the alternative - slow women - isn't very appealing. Even medium paced women doesn't cut it for me.
Is Cuba suffering from a bad case of Castroenteitis?
Solitude is my constant companion.
Don't try this at home. Do it at the office and sue your employer for negligence.
I intend to be in Burlesque act and give a whole new meaning to the term "comic strip".
Who says that movies nowadays don't leave anything to the imagination? For starters, there is the script...
Perfection is our goal, excellence will be tolerated.
Ten things I want to do after I die...
You're not well known till you're well hated.
Reading a book is a sensual experience - the sense of sight, the sense of touch and the sense of smell are involved. I have not tasted a book. Yet.
Some people speak without thinking, some think without speaking.
There is a very thin line between absurdity and insight.
The closer we look, the less we see.
You need off-road cars to drive on Indian roads.
I don't dream - I just visualise.
Thank you for curing my constipation Doctor - you really took a load off my mind.
I swear upon my honesty.
Powered by Zombie Robot wp-quotes plugin.
