Life (In Stereo)*

When I met him in his office – he was hard at work. Thank God that his secretary was around to take care of it.

Once in a while, comes along a man who condenses for us an entire era. Through his art, he records, for posterity, the conflict inherent within society. He portrays the complex social structures, the alliances and the betrayals, the rise and fall of mighty and meek – and does so entertainingly. He forces us to think about good and evil – to question our own moral choices. He scribes for us the fads and the fashions of the day to be studied by a later generation – he holds up a mirror to the times he lives, whether they like it or not.

He chronicles the tempestuous adventures and journeys that men undertake – some to live their dreams and some simply because they have no choice. Journeys that take them to end of known world and into the beyond – fantastical, outrageous journeys and capers that we could not have imagined, save for this man telling us so.

I, of-course, am talking about Homer Simpson.

Who else?

This actually happened to me. I kid you not. I had signed up for Vodafone’s (then Hutch) Phone Backup Service in India about a year ago. A few months ago, I got a new phone which did not support Vodafone’s Phone Backup software, and so, I called up Vodafone to cancel this service. And here’s what happened…

Read the rest of this entry »

…Door-to-door used condom salesman. Business is slow.

This one kills me no matter how many times I read it!

The next time the Government Of India wants me to reveal intimate details about my anatomy, I will.

Varun Varma, 27 yo., Male

Birthmark:

Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t think that Manmohan Singh’s dream of turning Mumbai into another Shanghai will ever come true. How is going to convince 15 million Chinese to move to Mumbai?

I am an ordinary man. I have ordinary feelings. I have felt rage, envy, hatred – I can see why people become thieves and murderers. The one thing I have never been able to understand is the psychology of rape. Until now.

Read the rest of this entry »

Now I’ve really done it. I have started Facebooking like crazy. First this blog (the simple passions), then Facebook (the complex passions). What’s next? A page on MySpace.com (the criminal passions) and then trying to get 38,000 people to be my “friends” (the murderous passions)?

I have no shame. No self control. Marquis de Sade would be proud.

In 1897, a reporter was sent to investigate whether Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) had died. This was due to a mix up – in fact his was cousin who was seriously ill.

Twain wrote an article about the incident which included the famous quote – “The report of my death is an exaggeration”.

If I had been there, I would have immediately written to Twain:

Read the rest of this entry »