Poker Faces and Porn Shoots

Varun — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 10:51:17 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, a friend was getting interviewed for a TV show, so the TV crew shot me and the usual suspects playing poker at his place.

The girl directing the shoot (or the cameramen) did not know anything about Poker and they asked us just to play normally and they’d shoot what they like.

Ten minutes into the shoot, this happens:

Director Girl: Umm…guys, I’m sorry to interrupt your game and I hope you don’t take this the wrong way – but we’re not getting any expressions on your faces.

Me: Thanks!

So, these guys make us repeat deal after deal, hand after hand, round after round – sometimes because they wanted a safety shot and sometimes because they did not get the shot from the right angle.

I turn over to a friend and whisper: “If these guys started shooting porn – they’d just wear the actors out.”

The friend looks at me and smiles slowly – and then points to his neck – lo and behold – a collar mic!

I look at the Director Girl sheepishly and she just shakes her head slowly and says “The things I hear on these shoots”…

Vodafone Customer Care

Varun — Wed, 21 May 2008 17:35:25 +0000

This actually happened to me. I kid you not. I had signed up for Vodafone’s (then Hutch) Phone Backup Service in India about a year ago. A few months ago, I got a new phone which did not support Vodafone’s Phone Backup software, and so, I called up Vodafone to cancel this service. And here’s what happened…

Me: Hi! I want to cancel the Phone Backup Service on my account.

Hutch: Sure. Let me check…

[Hold of about a minute]

Hutch: Sir, this service is no longer available.

Me: Since when has this service not been available?

Hutch: For the last four months.

Me: Ok. In that case why have I been charged for this service if it is actually not available?

Hutch: Hmm…yes, that doesn’t sound right. I’ve taken down your complaint – we’ll cancel this service on your account and any excess charges will be refunded to your account. These changes will reflect in your next billing statement

Me: Thanks! That’s why I love you guys.

So, I get the next bill and see that the charges have only been refunded for one month. I call up Vodafone again:

Me: Hi! I had called last month regarding reversal of charges for the Phone Backup Service.

Vodafone: Let me check.

[Hold for a couple of minutes]

Vodafone: I see that charges for that month have been reversed.

Me: Yes. But I see that you have charged me for the same service this month.

Vodafone: Let me see.

[Hold for a minute]

Vodafone: Sir, I would like to inform you that the Phone Backup Service is no longer available.

Me: I know that. That is why I am trying to get charges for this non-existent service reversed.

Vodafone: Sir, you should cancel this service so that you are not charged for it.

Me: I need to cancel a service that you do not offer? Ok. Please cancel this service on my account.

Vodafone: Please hold a minute while I take down your request.

[Hold]

Vodafone: Sir, I’m sorry – I cannot cancel this service on your account.

Me: Why?

Vodafone: Since this service is no longer available, I can’t take any requests for this service, including cancellations.

At that point I remembered that I am a Punjab Da Puttar and what followed were the choicest Hindi expletives. Vodafone was then…er…”Happy To Help” and promised to cancel the service and reverse all charges.

Is it just me or has the service quality of Hutch gone down the drain ever since Vodafone took them over?

Life (In Stereo)* » It’s True!

Poker Faces and Porn Shoots

Vodafone Customer Care